Nah, She Didn't!
by fawkkes
Summary: Remember cuddles in the kitchen, yeah, to get things off the ground? / a series of jily oneshots, set in the marauder era / james and lily live!
1. 3AM

**a.n. **Um, hi! This is a rather shabby collection of short stories about the _deer_ly beloved James Potter and Lily Evans (or in some cases, Lily _Potter_). Some one part, maybe two part, it all depends. I hope you enjoy at least one of them, for there is definitely more to come!

**disclaimer:** JKR is everything, I don't own anything except my harboured feelings towards these two idiots (a.k.a jily) and their friends (a.k.a. the marauders) /  
COVER ART BY BATCII on tumblr

**reviews are v v special to me and they will keep james potter and lily evans aliVE!**

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"Please, please go back to sleep, mate," James whispered for the tenth time, leaning against his son's cot, rocking the crying — no, wailing — baby boy in his arms.

Another 3AM crying session (for it was the fifth consecutive time that night) was enough to make James start crying too. He was exhausted. He knew having a son would be difficult, regardless of the war raging outside the window, but he never knew he could feel like this. It was as if his body protested with every movement made, and yet James' mind was miraculously burning; alive with adoration and love, love, love for this tiny thing wrapped in his arms, despite the sleep-fog haze clouding his thoughts.

"Please?"

James stared down at the tear-stained face of Harry, his heart breaking more than he thought would be possible at the sight. Harry's howling didn't cease no matter what James tried, and James was on the brink of tears himself when Lily ('god bless her,' James thought) stumbled through the doorway.

Her red hair piled messily high in a ponytail, several tendrils escaping the hold of the hairstyle, she leaned on the door frame for a second, taking in the sight of her son and husband. Then she sighed, scratching the top of her head as she walked into the room, her arms already out and James willingly passed her Harry.

For a blissful moment, due to the momentary distraction of being passed to somebody new, Harry stopped crying. His startlingly green eyes locked with Lily's for the briefest of seconds before he continued to cry.

"He won't stop— I don't know what to do, I've tried—"

Lily just smiled tiredly, cutting him off, while James raked a sleepy hand through his hair.

"It's okay, he's just fussy at night-time, isn't he?" Lily soothed, easily manoeuvring Harry so that his chin was resting on her shoulder and she patted up and down his back gently.

"Very," James choked back a yawn, and Lily smiled a little.

"You can go back to bed, James—"

"No, no, it's fine," James said, "He's my son too, yeah?"

Lily flashed him a smile over the din Harry was making into Lily's shoulder. "With this hair? Who else would his father be?"

James let out a chuckle at that, and Harry shifted his attention from crying to James, turning to stare at his father with wide, wet, watery eyes. The 1 year old hiccuped a little, watching his father avidly, and then he stretched out his little arms for him.

James stepped closer to his son, whom Lily was now handing over, and Harry clung to James' crumpled pyjama shirt, fisting at the material before pillowing his cheek against James' chest once more. Lily moved to run her fingers through Harry's unruly hair.

When James let out a second, much louder yawn, Harry copied him, and Lily's heart sped up a little in love.

"Okay, sleepyhead, time to get to bed," Lily said, pressing a kiss to James' shoulder.

"Told you 'm not going anywhere, Lils, he's mine too," James muttered, eyes drooping behind their frames as he used his thumb to stroke Harry's back.

"No, not you. It's pointless to argue with you when you're so stubborn. Even at... 3:20AM when you can barely keep your eyes open." Lily pressed another kiss to James' shoulder, muffling her own yawn. "I meant Harry."

"Right." James looked down at his son. Lily was still threading her fingers through his hair lovingly, and Harry's eyes were beginning to slide shut.

James slowly shuffled over to Harry's cot, careful not to jostle the boy and start what would be the sixth crying session that night alone. He lowered Harry into the crib, Lily tucked him in with a blanket, then kissed his forehead. James just grinned down at him.

Harry's eyes fluttered open for a few seconds, and James bit his lip, hoping and praying that he wouldn't scream and demand to be picked up again—

But then Harry smiled, a tiny, crooked small smile that had James' heart leaping to his throat and Lily smiling so brightly and for a minute James wanted nothing more than to pick Harry up again. And then Harry closed his eyes with a tiny yawn and it took 5 seconds for him to fall asleep, his little chest rising and falling rhythmically, the occasional whimper...

Lily looked up at James, her eyes shining with happiness and she wrapped her arm around his middle before all but tugging him back to their bedroom; the two of them promptly collapsed onto their bed.

"He always calms down when you're around," James commented tiredly, habitually rumpling up his hair before moving to steal the bed covers. Lily smiled softly before easily stealing them back.

"He does. But that's only because when he's around you, you get him all worked up, what with being James Potter..." Lily giggled into her pillow, and James' heart positively soared at the sound. Lily hadn't laughed as much since the war began, but when she did, James swore the world stopped to listen.

"You know he threw up on me today?" James sighed, a grossed out smile playing on his lips. "From excitement, you reckon? Or from being so repulsed by his father figure that he just had to get sick on me—"

Lily smiled at him. "I'm certain it was from excitement, dear. Besides, you had it coming. You knew Remus had just fed him, and you also knew that the aeroplane game was practically invented for projectile vomiting."

James laughed a little at that before the sound broke off into a yawn. He quickly angled his face into his pillow to cover it, but Lily was already smirking.

"Bloody hell, who knew having a kid would floor me?" James said, removing his glasses and rubbing at his eyes. "Merlin, I've looked after Sirius for 7 years and been fine —I mean, he's practically a child— but Harry... It's like a whole other level."

Lily nodded and scooted closer to her husband, resting her head on his chest. "Get some sleep. We both know we have all this to look forward to again tomorrow night."

James audibly groaned (but not before he suppressed a smile) and Lily chuckled before closing her eyes, waiting until James' breathing evened out before letting herself slip back into sleep.

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**a.n.** sleepy James is my weakness, as you can probably tell. **please review! I love hearing from people!**


	2. Dining With The (Soon-to-be) Dursleys

**a.n.** I'm back! Sorry it took so long, I'm busy with holidays and fun, but what's more fun than going to the park? WRITING JILY! Thank you to those who reviewed, it means an awful lot! And thank you to those who favourited and followed too! I'm terribly sorry for keeping you waiting!

**disclaimer:** JKR is everything. I merely own the ideas. This was based off a post on Pottermore, which is basically about Lily and James dining with Vernon Dursley and soon-to-be Petunia Dursley.

**reviews are the equivalent of braiding daisies into Lily's hair! (or James's hair, for that matter)**

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Orange and pinkish light pooled in the darker corners of the tiny restaurant Petunia Evans had chosen to dine in. Petunia possibly knew how unflattering those shades would be compared to her sister's complexion, and thus deemed it an appropriate place to eat at.

The twisting black railings secluding the two sisters from the rest of the restaurant were garlanded with flowers: pale pink tulips, creamy daffodils, golden marigolds and peachy petunias intertwined.

Little Fifteen was a beautiful restaurant, with ornate golden picture frames lining the dark red walls, void of pictures, for the frames were magnificent enough. The small, wooden table they sat at was lit only by candlelight, and it cast a flickering glow onto both girls as they waited.

Lily was absently playing with her bracelet, a lace cuff, somewhat awkwardly as she waited for her date to arrive. The sooner the better, for then they could leave. Lily had been dreading this night ever since Petunia suggested it. Her older sister had planned and planned the event with such precision that it wasn't at all a surprise when Lily's date was late and Petunia 'should have known better'.

"Honestly, you would think he would have the courtesy to call!" Petunia said shrilly, a piercing gaze set on her thin wristwatch as they waited.

"James doesn't know how to use a phone." Lily spoke through gritted teeth. At this, Petunia's eyebrows raised so high Lily couldn't see them, and her nose upturned in a snobby sort of way.

In all fairness, James had warned her that he could be late, for the Potters had hosted a grand party celebrating the capture of five Death Eaters, thanks to James's dad (who was an Auror). Of course, Lily couldn't have told this to Petunia for two reasons:

Petunia always turned a blind eye and suddenly became deaf whenever Lily talked about the wizarding world and its magic, so she wouldn't have heard even if Lily told her James was likely to be late.  
Petunia would have no idea what 'Death Eaters' are, or what an 'Auror' is, and why wizards are celebrating, and frankly Lily didn't have the time or energy to attempt to explain.

Vernon Dursley waddled back from the restaurant's bathroom and sat squatly beside Petunia. Lily glanced at him, ceasing to fiddle with her bracelet. She took a sip from her beverage in front of her, feeling terribly self-conscious thanks to Vernon's disdainful staring. Her stomach rumbled quietly, and she prayed James would arrive soon.

He was over 20 minutes late, and Vernon was just about to comment on this for the thirty-fourth time when James came hurtling through the restaurant door. Lily pursed her lips, Petunia became suddenly indifferent, and Vernon spluttered, his face already becoming a faint puce colour.  
James glanced around the small restaurant, searching for that lovely red hair -

He put on his stupidly charming crooked smile and ruffled his hair automatically as he set off towards table number 4, where his party awaited him.

He did look very pleasant, Lily noted in her mind, as she smiled the first genuine smile that evening. James wore a dark suit, thin carmine-red tie and a simple white shirt, his top button unfastened with a casual elegance - the exact opposite of his hair.

"So sorry I'm so late - got stuck at a party - loud one, too, my ears are still ringing - I'm really, terribly sorry, um, drinks on me, yeah?" James spoke quickly, darting in to kiss Lily's blushed cheek as a greeting.

"We already have beverages." Vernon snarled, barely suppressing his rage at this untidy boy who had the audacity to display his abnormality in public, for James had slung his travelling cloak over the back of his vacant chair. Vernon looked at it in disgust, his piggy eyes narrowed. In his view, men wore appropriate coats when it was cold outside, none of this travelling cloak tosh!

"I'm sorry," James apologised in a tone with such authenticity Lily had already forgiven him for making her - somehow - look even worse in front of her sister's fiance.

"Are we ordering, then?" Petunia spoke up for the first time since James had arrived. Her voice was very clipped and she had extended her long neck in a way that she hoped asserted superiority.

James raised his eyebrows a little at her cold tone and nodded quickly, unwilling to delay them any longer. Lily glanced at him, her lips pressed together in a way that James knew she was holding back a chuckle. He smirked back, which didn't go unnoticed by Vernon.

A few sharp snaps of clicking fingers and a moment later, Vernon Dursley had called over a waiter and they were currently reciting their orders.

"French onion soup for starters, with a spinach, courgette and leek quiche and vegetables for the main meal. No dessert." Petunia said delicately. Her neck was still extended as she handed her menu back to the waiter.

"Potato wedges for starters. Steak and chips for the main, with stuffing - and don't be stingy with the stuffing - and a slice of that cheesecake." Vernon rattled off rudely, leaving his menu on the table for the waiter to pick up.

James, rather unnerved and unsure if ordering food in the muggle world was any different than the wizard world, paid close attention as Lily ordered.

"Mhm, the rustic apple salad for starters, please. And the sausage and mash for the main. Oh, and the ice-cream for dessert, thank you." Lily finished, passing her menu to the waiter and patting James on the back reassuringly as she did so.

James cleared his throat. Vernon's beady eyes were staring patronisingly at him, judging.

"I'll have what the lady said," James said finally, referring to Lily. The waiter smirked at his answer and James handed his menu in.

Lily smiled brightly at him, holding his hand above the table and Petunia looked revolted.

"So," Vernon began after a long few minutes of painful silence. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"Job?"

"Unemployed." At this, Vernon grunted in a condescending tone, so James continued swiftly on. "But I'm hoping to become a Quidditch player once I've finished at Hogwarts."

The effect of James speaking such nonsensical words was incredible: Petunia coughed and spluttered on her drink, her horsey teeth clinking against the glass in shock and her pale eyes dilated; Vernon gagged on his beefy moustache, small eyes wide, whipping around in his chair to see if anybody had overheard them, almost toppling over in the process.

James smothered a laugh and Lily passed off a snicker as a sneeze.

"James is an excellent Quidditch player, Vernon." Lily said very clearly, and Vernon almost had a heart attack.

"Keep your voice down," Petunia hissed at her sister. James bit back a grin and Lily simply shrugged, but before she could elaborate on just how well James had played during the last Quidditch match of the season, their starters arrived.

Once the appropriate dishes had been set in front of the appropriate people, silence reigned as they started to eat. After a long time, once Petunia had calmed down and Vernon seemed to have got over his mini heart attack, the tirade of questions continued.

"Any siblings?" Vernon questioned bluntly.

"None," James said after swallowing a mouthful salad, finding Vernon's questions not at all intimidating, but really rather gruelling.

"Rich?"

Lily looked affronted at such an impolite question and her fork clattered against her plate as she dropped it, but James just looked bored. Petunia's indifference shattered for the briefest of moments before her face became stony once more.

"I suppose so."

Vernon's greedy eyes flashed for a second. "You suppose so? You don't look it."

Lily actually gasped at this, and she stared across the table at her sister, attempting to get Petunia to stop her fiance's bombardment of rude questions. James gave Lily's free hand a gentle squeeze with his own.

"I suppose I don't look it, do I?" James answered shortly, putting down his fork and threading his fingers through his disorderly hair. He picked up his fork again. "But, you see, Vernon, my parents are rich. They're pureblood wizards, not that any of this blood-type rubbish matters, but when you're from a pureblood family, you tend to have riches."

Vernon looked flabbergasted with a hint of rage, while Petunia looked like she wasn't even listening.

"P-Pureblood?" Vernon spluttered, his moustache aquiver.

"Yes," James smirked, rather amused at the sight of an older, trembling man who wanted nothing to do with him and was afraid of words. "But don't buy into it, it's ridiculous. Completely mental."

Lily beamed into her salad and squeezed James's hand lovingly.

Vernon grunted, and silence fell once more.

"What car do you drive?" Vernon asked suddenly, startling the silence. Their dishes had been cleared and they were waiting for the main meal. Petunia eyed James beadily.

"Oh, I don't drive a car." James answered, now weary and tired of the questions. His hand jumped to his hair.

"So you're one of those motorcycle riding hooligans," Vernon said with dislike. Unemployed though, I wouldn't have expected anything less. Typical."

"I ride a broomstick." James said this with such definitiveness that Lily knew his patience was wearing thin. She stroked her thumb up and down the back of his hand in a hopefully reassuring manner. This dinner needed to go well, no matter how hard it would be.

"A broomstick?" Vernon said loudly and snidely. Again, he whipped around to see if anybody heard. His face was becoming slowly redder.

James nodded, and Lily noticed his jaw was clenched.

"Yes. Ever heard of one?" James said sarcastically. "Don't you use them to sweep floors or something? Learnt that in Muggle Studies."

"Muggle Stud-"

"Well, you sit on a broomstick, see, and you can fly anywhere in the world. Don't need petrol or what's it called-"

"Diesel." Lily filled, and James smiled appreciatively, enjoying the look of outrage plastered onto Vernon's red face.

"Don't need any petrol or die-sel, and I bet that saves loads of money."

By now, Vernon's face was scarlet. Their waiter had returned and had served their main meals, and had left quickly due to the tense, almost palpable atmosphere between the two couples.

"That doesn't bother me." Vernon said, voice shaking in anger. "Money isn't an issue for some. I'm financially secure. Got a good, steady job."

"Where do you work-?" James started, but his words trailed off. Petunia had craned her neck so far she resembled a giraffe. She puffed her chest out in pride at her fiance's words.

James raised his eyebrows at her, but Vernon continued as if James had never even spoken.

"No, sir, money is no issue, unlike yourself. What's going to happen if your childish little broomstick breaks? Fly it into a tree or hopefully into a plane? Won't be able to afford a new one. You're not rich! You can't steal from your parents, boy! You'll lose that fortune one day! None of that nonsense will happen to myself - got a fantastic car and money! Me? Well, I'm set for life! We're set for life, aren't we, Petunia?"

Petunia nodded with such enthusiasm that Lily had not seen since they were little. James's teeth gritted. His patience was gone.

"Silly... Irresponsible... Wizards living off unemployment, no money for food... luckily they'll die out soon enough-"

"Didn't I tell you I've got money?" James interrupted. His face, unlike Vernon's, was deathly white. Lily had also gone pale. She hadn't spoken since the main meal had arrived.

"Gringotts - the wizard bank -" (Vernon flinched; Petunia choked on her quiche) "- is the most secure, safe bank in the world. Dragons guarding it, riddles everywhere, you can die if you get lost down there... I don't know about you, but I'm fairly certain my family's fortune is locked up tight, who in their right mind would rob Gringotts?"

Insulted and enraged and positive James was taking the mickey, with a vein threatening to burst at his purple temple, Vernon stared at James with revulsion. Petunia sensed it was time to leave, disregarding her half eaten quiche and the desserts to come, she put a bony hand on Vernon's thick arm and tugged him out of his seat.

Hastening towards the exit of the restaurant, Petunia cast one final look of loathing in James and Lily's direction before leaving with her fiance (who was now roaring with rage and turning steadily more purple).

It was several minutes before James and Lily spoke.

They sat there, alone, in silence as they absorbed what just happened.

James's jaw was still clenched, and Lily was still pale, but now she had tears in her eyes.

It was a few seconds before James noticed, and, feeling very ashamed of himself, he turned to face her.

The sight of Lily's tears seemed to dissipate James's anger. He ran his thumb up and down the back of her hand, much like she had done for him before he lost his patience.

"I'm so, so sorry, Lily."

Lily, now wiping at her tears that fell onto her cheeks.

"S-S-She's m-my sister... S-she's my sister and she h-hates me!"

James pressed his lips together, his hands now clasped around both of Lily's as he urged her to look at him. She did, but he couldn't think of anything else to say except sorry.

"I promise I'll make it right... I'll make this right."

With a great sniff, Lily blinked at him through owlish eyes. He picked up an unused napkin and gently wiped the remnants of her tears.

"Okay."

James let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair tiredly. He left the correct amount of muggle money on the table (which paid for Vernon and Petunia's meals as well as his and Lily's) and got up, unwilling to let go of Lily's hand.

Whatever it took, James would make this right.

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**a.n. **thank you for reading! I just liked making Vernon get redder and redder as the story progressed! **please let me know what you thought about it! and you can leave story ideas of your own if you want to! thank you!**


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